Really? REALLY?!?!

I was just barely talking with a friend from high school. I congratulated her on her new baby and how big her other child is getting. She thanked me and said her older child feels so heavy because she hasn't been able to carry them for a while. Her next comment was.

When are you having babies?

  

I sat there, knot in my stomach, staring at the screen thinking, really? REALLY?!?!?

I just tried to keep it light so I said, I don't know, never?

LOL why not?

 

 Really? REALLY?!?!!??!?!?

I just said it hasn't happened in the last 4 years, it probably won't happen anytime soon.

(Again trying to keep it light-hearted, struggling at this point)

I guess I'll have to start taking people's kids when they offer them.

 :( I'm sorry. There's always adoption.

 I am fuming at this point. You think we haven't thought of that? I'm not ready to let go of biological children, which I need to do first be fore adopting a child. We can't afford the adoption process or any other kinds of processes at the moment. Just because having kids is as easy as blinking for you.

I of course don't say that. If we had been talking in person I might of, but thankfully internet helps me from killing people.

So instead I make another joke from it and say,

"more cats?"

Don't get me wrong. I'm not angry at her really. I'm just frustrated with the situation in general.
 I don't always bawl at diaper commercials. Or Rice krispies commercials. Or when I see pregnant women. Or when I'm in Primary. Or when someone asks when were having kids. Or every month. Or in Walmart. Or when someone announces on Facebook their having their "umteenth" child that was a complete surprise. Or when I play with any of my nieces or nephews.

  

I'm usually calm around people.

And don't freak out.

I know I need to

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

But some days I just want to punch people in their oh-so-perfect, baby-making parts.